Archive for the ‘love’ Category


Image Source: http://www.avclub.com/article/theres-mash-rainbow-road-themes-all-8-mario-karts-206528

I’ll focus on my own experience here but I know there are going to be things about my experience that many other queer people can relate to in this regard.

My experience with queerness has never been linear, it has indeed been very queered. It has consistently involved not knowing about a way of being queer and then being introduced to the concept, a moment of reflection and then realizing “oh shit that’s me.” But I’ve also consistently struggled with coming to terms with these new labels and seeing how they fit me.

From the age of 12 to about a month away from turning 21 I had been on a journey of denial, internalization, grief over myself changing and growing, complete secrecy, exploration, etc. etc. about me being bi. I had come out after years of being afraid of myself, but in that time I also developed a yearning for community. When I came back to UMBC after two years of community college I knew that I’d want to seek out my community. Since then my reality as a queer person has shifted so greatly. I feel so liberated. Yet I grieve. I grieve for the ways I have been, not knowing if they are different than who I am now. My sense of self has been questioned. I don’t know if my new state of existing is just blurrier, or if things have just been just out of my sight this entire time and it constantly feels like both. I don’t know how consistent this person who is me is. (more…)

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2016 has been very hellish for me. There has been a ton of loss. I have dealt with a new kind of loss; the loss of a person who is still alive. In March I went through a very ugly break-up. One which I never thought I would recover from; one I am still trying to recover from.  (more…)

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I’m not thankful for all the lives that had to be raped, diseased spread and killed for this country to be present.

I’m not thankful for the cultures and traditions that have been wiped out so that it be exchanged with sports and consuming dead animals.

i’m not thankful for all the wars we’ve created because of greed and fear from white supremacy.

I’m not thankful to be human sometimes.

I’m not thankful that i have to shut up so i can let people live comfortably and not ethically.

I’m not thankful for all the marginalized people have to be marginalized.

I’m not thankful for specieism.

I’m not thankful for a gap in peoples conscience.

I’m not thankful for time.

I’m not thankful for the sun that burns my skin and dries my lips  because we’ve killed the ozone layer.

I’m not thankful for all man made constructions

But I’m thankful I’m thankful for living this life.

(As a spiritual person I’m giving thanks for my life everyday, but there deserves a space where i can express what I’m not thankful FOR in life… (you know, duality also a gemini). It’s okay to pessimistic sometimes and feel hopeless of humanity but I’ve came to a conclusion that humans are like sheep we like to follow the crowd and that if are following beliefs and ideologies that don’t just benefit us but other species we could live in much less harm)



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I guess we all know the feeling of being heartbroken. The nonstop crying, the headache, the baggy eyes, the hate, the loneliness and the list goes on. Most of us associate heartbreak with only the psychological effects, and forget how much of a tool this can have to our body. See, being heartbroken has so much more to do then just going into depression. (more…)

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img_0391 img_0539 (more…)

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36026_DM54K1It’s endlessly intriguing to me how our view of certain things can be changed completely by new experiences. I have been thinking about this a lot lately, because after 11 years together, my husband and I have taken an unexpected (but very positive) step with our marriage — we are exploring polyamory. Something I took for granted over the course of more than a decade in a stable relationship was how many things I didn’t have to think about, especially when it came to my body. (more…)

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A few class periods we talked about disability in the media and one person mentioned the show Switched at Birth. That show is actually one of my favorite television series. Although I am a cinematic arts major, I never really have time to keep up with shows or stay updated with the latest reality shows. Most of what I watch is game shows and Netflix binges. When I found Switched at Birth I was pleasantly surprised in the way the creators incorporated disabilities into the show with not only the main characters but with the supporting characters as well. (more…)

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This video is one of my favorites. I believe that most people fall in love more than once in their lifetime. Some are just the “ideas” of what being in love really is… we yearn to feel accepted and crave that feeling of Love by different people.  (more…)

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This past Friday I finally had a date with the guy I really liked for about six months, who also happens to live in Pennsylvania. I don’t fall for people very often..but when I do, I fall HARD. We’re talking send-a-care-package-in-the-mail-just-because-you-have-a-busy-semester kind of hard. And folks, it went horribly on Friday. I’ve been putting the list of things in my head that made this night turn into a similar scenario to the bombing of Pearl Harbor (maybe I’m a bit dramatic..but here it is):

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