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Archive for October, 2016

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Television can sometimes be the most reflective form of cultural mirroring that can show what society truly thinks of certain people, and the behavior that they find suitable for those types of identities. Dramas and comedies often reveal stereotypical tropes of characters that can often be unrealistic and uncomfortable to experience, while live-action news programming can show the true thoughts that organizations from around the world are attempting to pump into the minds of humans in our society. The least drastic form of television that I would expect catastrophe from would definitely be a game show. I mean, really?

 

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In the way gender and sexuality operates in our world, often times they are highly construed and mistaken for each other. Are they related? Yes. But they are still separate things. Because these identities are often mistaken in this way many people have this idea that being transgender is an identity that’s ‘chosen’ to receive some kind of access to heterosexuality and that to be validated as a trans person you need to be engaged in this effort to be on some end of the gender binary only performing gender in ways that are widely accepted in a hyper policed way, this includes heterosexism as it relates to transess. In fact there’s  a whole other level of heterosexism that is applied to trans people.

But sexual diversity is just as diverse in the trans community as it is in the cis population. I can only speak deeply about my own experience, and I realize it is but a mere single experience in a sea of many others and I do not speak for other trans people, though I feel like my story is relevant to this topic. My personal experience with my gender identity and sexual identity, has been a long and arduous journey that starts out in the closet as being reluctantly bisexual, often leaning towards my attraction to women. Then I was introduced to concepts of there being more than two genders, and it struck me. There were months of tears, denial, and confusion. Once exposed to different genderqueer, nonbinary, and trans identities that I suddenly felt aligned with I couldn’t go back to a reality where my sexuality was the same in relation to my gender identity ever again. Ultimately this ended up being a positive thing, something freeing, something that just ended up feeling more comfortable. But my initial reaction was fear, uncertainty, and feeling disingenuous because of the way the world saw identities like mine and I reflected that back into the way I saw myself. I still do feel internal conflict, I still get scared that I, in no way, have all of the answers about my identity, but as I come into my gender identity I find that I’m making progress in establishing peace with my bisexuality. It’s as if I didn’t want to identify as bisexual before, something about seeing myself as a ciswoman before I knew about the trans identities that fit me,  dating a man really did not sit with me well, it just wasn’t me and it isn’t. I’m finding that being trans and accepting it has essentially worked me into actually being more comfortable about my bisexuality. Now I find new complications in grieving my previously thought of lesbian/queer woman identity, but again I can’t go back, it’s just not me. I am a transmasculine person who is bisexual and with that I am queer and transgender. I think it’s a timeline and identity that defies this heterosexist view of trans people, as different stories and sexual identities of many trans people do. I wanted to provide my own experience as an example of how transness does not equate to gayness. There are certainly many other narratives out there that proclaim trans does not equal gay as well and encourage people inside and outside the LGBT community to realize that there is no one way to be trans or queer and that there is no reason someone can’t be both.

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Now and days, I have been thinking about being more political aware and like any curious person I decided reading The Washington Post would be a good place to start (only online, of course). (more…)

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For Halloween this year my girlfriend and I decided to go as Shaggy and Velma. While looking for clothes in a thrift store, my girlfriend started playing with the idea of going as a sexy Velma. Going along with it I suggested I go as a sexy Shaggy as well.  (more…)

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It’s that time of year again. When all the “ghouls and goblins” come out to play. Or, should I say “sluts and sex–crazed men” come out and frolick about. Slut shaming has become a very negative stigma centered around Halloween time.  (more…)

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A Farewell to Grandpa

The first funeral that I went to was my grandpa’s. He was 89 when he passed away. Now, no one ever taught me about the rituals that take place at a funeral. I only knew that I had to wear black. (more…)

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The appropriation of words have been used to shun or shame people from their community or their individuality. I can list a bunch of words that have been used as slurs against people to dehumanize them like, nigger, queer, fruit, fag, bitch, slut, tranny, and the list goes on. There is something important about a community reclaiming a word that has been used to shame them for just being themselves. It creates resistance from the oppressor without violence. It’s simply taking the word and using it towards themselves but in a positive way. It may be weird for the first couple times but grab a group of your gay friends and call each other queers, beautiful queers that run the world. For African Americans reclaiming the word nigger has changed the way black people communicate with each other. By reclaiming the word nigger they changed the last two letters with just an “a” for the more laid back and stylistic approach. African American’s didn’t just reclaim a derogatory word but revamped it to give it a little more flavor. The act of reclaiming a word that has been used to shun a group is also means of survival and learning how to change or adapt to the given environment. It allows humans to take control of an issue and use it for their benefits instead it being against them. I’m proud to know that these words have such great meaning and history behind them and that these words are more than just words but experiences that people have with them.

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