I spent twenty minutes with my eyes closed, and I went about my daily business in my room. I opened drawers, found objects, put on bracelets, blew up a balloon. I decorated my room some. I even drew a picture.
Posts Tagged ‘embodiment’
I’ve never liked having my photograph taken. After experiencing several years of bullying that involved ugly candid photos of me being publicly laughed at, I started hiding from cameras. From the ages of about 11 to 18, there are very few photos of me. I appear in the occasional family holiday or homecoming dance photo, but if I were to cease to exist, there would be very little evidence of my life. All of the photos are carefully posed; I’m dressed to impress. They say nothing about who I am or what I am doing. (more…)
Lying on the cold ground outside of Penn Station on Thursday night, surrounded by activists chanting “We Can’t Breathe” as I chanted those very same words myself, I felt my body. I couldn’t say how many times it has happened other than to say that it rarely does, and if you asked me to describe the feeling now, I couldn’t for the life of me. I call it a feeling and not an experience because that’s what it is: a feeling. Everything else seems like an experience in comparison. The magic in feeling my body is that I am not in control of it. It just happens to me. It feels as though there’s a shift in my being in which I go from experiencing my body through my consciousness to actually feeling my body, being my body. (more…)
Last night, I took a loooot of selfies. I got home, undressed, freed myself of my bra and my jeans and threw on a tank top. I walked up to the bathroom mirror, examining myself as I usually do, making faces and posing and all that good stuff.
I think because of how closely I follow plus-sized fatshionistas who seem to perform femininity perfectly I often feel like I’m not feminine enough because I don’t dress impeccably or wear makeup very often. And to be really honest, that has left me feeling not at all attractive or sexy.
This video is one of my favorites. I believe that most people fall in love more than once in their lifetime. Some are just the “ideas” of what being in love really is… we yearn to feel accepted and crave that feeling of Love by different people. (more…)
The internet allows for instant communication with people from all over the world. We can email, blog, instant message, “poke” on Facebook, Skype call — and, potentially, all without ever seeing the body behind the text or voice. The pessimist might assert that these communications are superficial, detached, and “not real”; we are ignoring “real” people in favor of glowing screens and lines of text.
Yet this point of view invalidates the incredible, long-lasting, very real relationships that people such as myself develop over the internet. There is the chance that we may never see in person, or even in photographs, the people we interact with this way. However, with things like Skype Video and Face Chat and “selfies,” it is easier than ever to match a face to the text. And anyway, even if I’m not talking with a person face to face, they are no less a person and our conversations are no less valid.