Let me make my silly little choices, and you can make yours.

Front cover of the Sudafed PE OTC box.

Recently, an FDA panel announced that Sudafed PE and other decongestants are, essentially, ineffective. Since this announcement, I’ve seen countless articles pop up on my Google News feed about removing Sudafed PE, Mucinex, and Benadryl from the shelves. The argument to remove the medicines is that we shouldn’t be selling ineffective products–but are they really ineffective? An argument can be made that these are exceptionally effective placebos (sugar pills/ineffective medicine).

The placebo effect is well documented; even when a patient knows they are taking a placebo, sometimes just taking a pill helps to trick the body into the desired effect. Bodies and minds are weird, and whatever works, works. Even if Sudafed and its relatives are little more than placebos, I think they should be allowed to stay on the shelves. After all, the placebo effect can reduce symptoms by up to 50%, and that’s more than enough to convince me.

For all the many ailments I have–visible and invisible, temporary and chronic–very few have effective and fast solutions. There is no Xanax for depression, no Zofran for migraines, but there is Sudafed for a stuffy nose. Maybe it’s silly to continue to take something that has been proven not to work, but I swear I feel my sinuses clear up minutes after taking Sudafed. It allows me to get a restful sleep instead of battling with the correct sleeping position that allows me to breathe.

With the lack of effective medications available for a variety of illnesses, I am frustrated by the attempt to remove existing medications instead of putting new ones on the market. While I am not necessarily a fan of being stuffed full of pills, I like having the hope that maybe there is an accessible medication out there that will work for me. When the number of approved medications is even further limited, frustrated and exhausted people like me turn to home remedies and endless concoctions of honey, sea salt, herbs, and usually get roped into the wellness industry once or twice.

If Sudafed doesn’t work for general populace, there is nothing I can do about it. But whether it’s the placebo effect at work or there really is some merit to Sudafed, let me decide how to spend my money. Taking Sudafed off the shelves leaves me one less remedy for a restful night–and when I’m combating so many other ailments for a moment of peace, this tiny relief is a huge victory for me. Leave the silly little pill on the silly little shelf and let me make my silly little choice; you are free to pass it in the aisle if you wish, but leave some for me.

I don’t need help, I can get through it on my own. Wait, I might need help.

About two months ago I took a large step, which I never thought that I would. I finally went to my doctor’s office and asked to be prescribed medication for depression. Depression is something that I have dealt with for a long time but I have also been very against taking medication to try and help with it. Partly because being on a medication for it would make it more real and not as easy to ignore and partly because I work in a pharmacy and I see the side effects that people have to deal with and how long and how many trial and errors can happen before they find the right medication. For the past couple years, I have gone back and forth trying to decide if I should go on medication or not. When I would have good days, or even weeks I would think no way I need medication I’m fine but then the bad days and weeks would hit and I would be stuck in bed wishing that I had something to help me because I no longer can do it on my own. Finally, after discussing it with my therapist and my pharmacist I decided to take the leap and get prescribed medication. So far it has been helpful and I notice that I do not feel so down all of the time which is nice. It is not a huge change, and I’m not fully convinced that my feeling better is not just a placebo effect but I am glad that I was able to finally take this chance and really start working towards bettering myself and not just suffering through to the next day.

Just a prick: my Depo Provera story

I went on birth control to take control of my body. while I got some control, I also got a little more than what I bargained for.

Can you spare a heart?

Guys, I just want to put it all out there. For over a year, I’ve struggled to find the right words to make sense of the sudden passing of my father on April 26th, 2014.

Breathe In, Breathe Out

When I was growing up, my relationship to my asthma entirely shaped my relationship to my body. My body was something that had to be constantly monitored for any sign of symptoms. It had to be regulated and controlled. My body wasn’t a part of me, it was a setting–it was a dangerous situation that I had been placed in for unknown reasons; a house in the path of a hurricane.

Sickness and Body Borders

There was a week, once, where I slept near a big glowing cross, and the light shone sideways through thick panes patterned with a wiry crosshatch. The sheets smelled like sickness and clean, and at night you could see the Domino Sugar sign–big for a billion miles away.

Yearly Exam

I silently sign my name on the sheet telling the front desk staff sitting at the computer that I am here, and sit down in a generic, but expensive-looking chair.

Aiming for comfort.

Women are glued to their copies of Parenting or Marie Clare. A couple sitting cattycorner to each other look up at me, and then glance back at each other talking. An instrumental version of Memories from the musical Cats plays softly in the background. I don’t have a magazine, so I take up Candy Crush. After 10 minutes the woman at the front desk calls my name.

“Hi, Amelia! We just need to get a urine sample from you, so if you could just go down the hallway and to the second door on the left and leave that for us in the metal cabinet, then go to room number two, that’d be excellent!”