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Posts Tagged ‘self love’

As our fat bodies studies took full swing and we were pushed to think about some examples of how the fat body is devalued, my mind also drifted to the obvious counterpart; the thin body. I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering to a website called The Chive… more specifically, an album called “mind the gap”.  What gap you ask? No, not the Gap Store… Not the ominous warning at the London Underground, heeding people to be wary of the gap between the train and platform (yes, that’s a thing)… This gap…

 

***WARNING: thin bodies, thin pictures, thin-talk***

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I don’t always like what I see. Sometimes my jeans are too tight, sometimes my thighs jiggle too much, sometimes I just feel downright ugly. (more…)

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I’m not going to class today.

I can’t say that it’s because I have a fever, or because I had a dentist appointment, or because anybody died.

I’m not going because of the sensations I feel when we talk about fatness. The sickness and the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy (that has always been pushed in to my mentality from various points in my life) always crop up as we talk about our fat, or not so fat bodies. It’s inevitable, this distinct sucking feeling, as if my gut has become a vacuum, and I can zip myself away like a fancy reusable grocery bag.

We talk critically about the hegemonic institutions that create these body ideals. We complain together, air our grievances, we nod and shake our heads together. We are a good class, a good group of people who can empathize and understand each other’s problems, but that’s not enough to save me from wanting to shrink into my backpack and cry in a bathroom stall.

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