Short Hair, Don’t Care

It is funny how some people can dislike one small aspect of your body. Shouldn’t people be more reasonable and accept your styles when you choose to do them. Shouldn’t it not be anyone’s business but your own in choosing what you do with your appearance?

Once upon a time I had a boyfriend and we had been dating for about 2 years.Throughout the relationship I had very long hair. This long, frizzy, split ended, dead mass of hair flopping on my cheeks around my face. Don’t get me wrong at one point I did enjoy having my long hair, for me it was a way of hiding when I suddenly became shy and uncomfortable with myself/ my body.. But then all of a sudden I decided to stop hiding from the “world” and show them my face. After I cut my hair I felt a sensation that I had never felt before:empowerment. I felt so unstoppable and beautiful I could not wait to show my boyfriend at the time. He broke up with me within 3 months saying he couldn’t stand my short hair and he wasn’t attracted to me anymore.  My response was simply this; short hair don’t care.

I had learned to love my body, face and self that I realized that I didn’t really “need” him anymore. If someone can’t accept your physical appearance then they are not welcome to influence your daily life.  After cutting my hair I became more comfortable with my body especially my face. Cutting my hair released and old version of me who I never want to be again, a shy small woman who cant see the beauty in herself. That old version of self will never be invited in my life again.

Huzzah!!!

Another year, another turkey leg at the annual Renaissance festival.  These types of festivals have always been dear to me- it’s served as a great source of entertainment and escape.  For those of you that don’t already know, Renaissance festivals are a unique gateway to another realm- a portal that transports its participants to a time period complete with medieval costumes, games, merchandise and food (lots of food).  Customers are encouraged to be themselves and dress up according to the time period-it’s a day to shed whatever rules and regulations the outside world requires and to eat, drink and be merry in a safe atmosphere void of judgment.  I know this world well, this is my thirteenth year attending. 

Do These Pants Make My Ass Look Bisexual?

Why does what I’m wearing define my sexual orientation? I’m a 22-year old female, and I often change the way I dress, even on a day-to-day basis. I may feel like wearing a tight skirt, heels, make-up, and jewelry and shaving my legs on Monday. On Tuesday I might wear sweatpants and a T-shirt and throw my hair in a messy bun, and on Wednesday I may wear a baggy pair of guy’s jeans with paint stains on them, a tank top, and skater shoes but do my hair in a cute way. I enjoy dressing in any way that makes me feel comfortable, and I usually do.

But recently, I got a girlfriend, and even though I dress the same way I’ve always dressed, with my same unique style I’ve always had, I’ve heard some interesting comments, even from people that I know care about me and aren’t trying to be offensive. But if I’m dressed up (and meet society’s beauty standards) I’ll hear people say things like “Are you really a lesbian?” or “I don’t understand how you’re gay” and when I dress down, or “more like a guy” I hear “You’re such a lesbian.”

And I’m not even a lesbian! I’m bisexual!

I feel as though society often judges people as being gay or straight based on what they’re wearing. A recent conversation with my (straight, male) roommates went like this:

Roommate 1: “What are you wearing?”
Me: “Jeans.”
Roommate 2: “She has a girlfriend, she can wear what she wants.”
Roommate 1: “She’s only half-gay.”
Me: “What does that have to do with it?”
Roommate 1: “Well sometimes you dress like the straight half.”

First off, I consider myself a hundred percent gay and a hundred percent straight, and I hate it when people call me “half gay.” It’s not like I find women attractive half the time; I find attractive PEOPLE attractive ALL the time. Second, how come I can only wear “whatever I want” because I have a girlfriend? It’s not like my girlfriend dresses me. Could I wear girls’ jeans if I was a lesbian? Could I wear guys’ jeans if I was straight? Why are my roommates only saying things now? Don’t the same rules apply now as when I was single? Or am I “more gay” when I have a girlfriend?

It’s also weird to me that clothes can make you look gay (“He’s totally gay, look at his pants.”  “I can’t tell if he’s gay or if he just dresses really well…”  “She looks like a dyke in those pants.”) or even make you look straight (“Can you believe he’s gay? He dresses so straight!”) but I have never heard of clothes making you look bisexual. If bisexuality, homosexuality, and heterosexuality are all valid sexual orientations, why don’t our clothes make us look bisexual? Where can I buy pants that make me look like I date boys and girls?

Can I be a feminist and still wear lipstick?

Have any women out there felt a conflict or contradiction between their feminist identity and desire to adorn their bodies? That is, can I shave my legs and simultaneously protest patriarchy? I know of many women (including myself) who have struggled with this and similar questions. In a culture so rampant with images of plucked, primped and worked-out women and men, it’s sometimes hard for me to decide if I want to display my feminist protest on my body or wear pretty clothes, shoes and jewelry.

When I read Gala Darling’s post “Am I A Hypocrite For Professing Radical Self Love While Wearing 5 Inch Heels?” or “Can you call yourself a feminist and still wear lipstick?” I was thrilled to read her take on these very questions. As a woman who blogs about fashion and style and who also boasts a “Radical Self-Love Bootcamp” program, Gala Darling’s work may seem to contradict itself. So she asks the million-dollar question about lipstick and feminism, and raises very good points about bodies, body adornment  and our selves.

Gala points out that when we (women and men alike) display our bodies the way society wants us to, we are rewarded for this behavior. This could be by wearing makeup, stylish clothing, shaving, etc. Gala calls this “beauty” privilege.”  Beauty privilege can be as simple as a smile from the person ringing up your groceries! In a lot of ways it’s easy and comfortable to conform to beauty standards when you can in order to access beauty privilege. Of course, not all bodies have equal access to this privilege. It is overwhelmingly easier for able bodies, thin bodies and white bodies to access beauty privilege. Access to money helps beauty privilege too!

Further on the subject of beauty and feminism Gala explains, “I’ve spent some time recently thinking about “beauty” & trying to reconcile that with truthful feelings about myself. A major & difficult piece of the puzzle is that none of us grew up totally free from societal influence, & so it is almost impossible to separate what we really want from what we think we want…. The place I keep coming back to is that even when I recognise that my ideas of beauty have been passed down to me from society, it doesn’t feel good to me when I choose to deny myself something which provides me with genuine enjoyment….

Gala argues that body adornment is akin to art. People are attracted to aesthetically pleasing objects, whether natural or manufactured, and enjoy being surrounded by them. Of course there is variety in peoples’ tastes, but I think it’s fair to say that most of us like having pretty things around us!

She further notes that “wanting to feel beautiful does not make you a bad feminist or a bad woman. It does not mean that you are being oppressed or that you lack the ability to think for yourself. Wanting to adorn ourselves is natural & normal — very few of us live in houses that are all function & no form, & while we COULD all drive boxy Volvos, the truth is that most of us are attracted to beauty — however we choose to define it.”

Lastly, I found this point quite persuasive: “Some women say that if we wear lipstick, we’re only doing it because society has told us to. I would argue that the woman who tries to buck society by NOT wearing lipstick is just as influenced! No one exists in a vacuum, & almost all of our decisions are effected by external sources.”

I find Gala Darling’s discussion of beauty, bodies and feminism quite persuasive. I like wearing clothes that flatter my shape. I like having smooth legs and putting glittery eyeshadow around my eyes. I love earrings and bracelets. This doesn’t make me less of a feminist, right? What are your thoughts?

Bald Barbies

Disclaimer: While I have never experienced baldness personally, drawing from the literature on disability and class discussions I felt an affinity with the topic. If I indirectly offend anyone I offer an apology in advance.

Recently I’ve noticed a lot of rabble on facebook about a topic I never thought would pop up in my newsfeed: Bald Barbie.

There’s a facebook group dedicated to pressuring Mattel to create the Bald Barbie for children who suffer from hair loss due to cancer as well as Alopecia, and Trichotillomania. Mattel has finally released a statement saying they will create Bald Barbie but it, “will be a friend of Barbie, which will include wigs, hats, scarves and other fashion accessories to provide girls with a traditional fashion play experience.”

Hm. So, the new doll cannot be labeled a “Barbie” and she still has to have fashion accessories which, in my interpretation, (and perhaps this is my raging feminist coming out) means people who have hair loss still have to cover up their scalp since baldness cannot be accepted as normal.

Not only will Mattel’s new doll not be a “Barbie”, she will also only be distributed to children’s hospital for reasons of “directly reaching girls who are most affected by hair loss”. But what about the children who are not in hospitals who have experienced hair loss? And how does a hospital reinforcing to the children that they’re still beautiful actually combat the main message that Mattel sends out to the general public on a day-to-day basis, i.e. beauty has a certain standard, and if you don’t have the hair and body for it, you will never be beautiful.

Could placing the doll on the shelves of a toy store create too much of a sense of normalcy towards hair loss?

From the past course discussions on disability, and the invisibility and inaccessibility that many disabled people have expressed they have experienced; I don’t think that Bald Barbie does much to enhance the lives of children who have experienced baldness.

By only distributing these dolls to hospitals Mattel is stating that baldness is still a disability and is associated only with illness. Mattel could release Bald Barbie in mainstream stores and allow Bald Barbie to be viewed right next to a Barbie with hair but then what message would Mattel be sending to the children that experience baldness? Beauty standards can actually deviate from what Mattel portrays them to be?

If Bald Barbie were to be considered equal and sold in the mainstream market right next to a Barbie with hair I think children who experience hair loss could actually feel acceptance and beauty towards their baldness, especially when Barbie is such an icon for female children for femininity and glamour.

I think Mattel’s creation and distribution of Bald Barbie is just another way to emphasize disability rather than accept it.

The Great Wall of Vagina

Artist Jamie McCartney is trying to start a sexual revolution… but not the kind we usually think of.

He is attempting through art to change female body perceptions and show us that every woman’s vulvas are normal.  McCartney is a life cast artist; he spent five years collecting casts of volunteers’ vulva mounds and has turned the result into The Great Wall of Vagina.

The work includes 400 casts, as accurate as photographs, displayed in ten wall panels. They range in age from 18 to 76 and include mothers and daughters, identical twins, transgendered men and women, women pre and post natal, and another one pre and post labiaplasty. It is impressive and at times overwhelming, but by reducing the body part to a simple white plaster cast, he removes the sexualization we would typically attach to such a display.  His use of spectacle shows us how absolutely diverse each and every woman’s vulva is – on the website it mentions how each one is as unique as a face.  And they are!

“For many women their genital appearance is a source of anxiety and I was in a unique position to do something about that.” - Jamie McCartney

There are several things I find interesting about this art project.  First, by bombarding us with 400 vulvas in a small space, he reduces the body to a single part, from a view many of us have never seen. And while we ARE viewing the diversity and differences in vulvas, it also manages to emphasize the similarities.  We see the similarities in our differences.

And second, if women are shocked and surprised at the diversity shown here – why is that?  Is it simply because most heterosexual women haven’t seen other women’s open vulvas?  Or is it the “pornification” of our modern culture?  If labiaplasties are on the rise, do you think an exhibit like this would help stop that trend? Do you think hetereosexual men and lesbians are surprised by this diversity?

So, would you go see the show?  And if you are the owner of a vulva, are you looking for one that looks like yours?

“It’s time our society grew up around these issues and I’m certain that art has a role to play.” - Jamie McCartney

Androgyny

Often, we talk about “beauty standards” as a single set of rules, as though they can be internalized and followed the way one might follow the rules of grammar or mathematics.  Beauty standards have very real consequences for those who break them and also those who don’t, and they are so pervasive as to seem universal.  But they aren’t universal.

Take, for example, the context of the fashion industry.  Granted, there are plenty of harmful aspects of consumerism and misogyny in fashion in general.  Still, fashion is, purportedly, an art that pushes boundaries, even if it has inherited the unfortunate boundaries of the society of which it is a part.  This is an essay in itself.  What is interesting for the purposes of this post is how the beauty standards for fashion models differ from those for the average person in a given culture.  The purpose of fashion is to push boundaries, and so it continually shapes the beauty standards and trends for average people and then changes them.

Similarly, models are not held to the same set of standards.  Successful models have a certain set of common characteristics (tall, thin), as well as something that makes them “stand out”: a sharp nose, strong brow, angular jaw line.    At the same time, the desire for models who are tall and thin has necessarily led to an increase in models with androgynous bodies.  Perhaps the most popular androgynous model at the moment is Andrej Pejic, who in one season walked five men’s shows and four women’s shows.

His body seems to be proof that even biology is not dichotomous.  One would expect this to be more threatening, yet Andrej reports a happy, carefree childhood.  His mother is doting, his brother is supportive, and the hardest part of his teenage years, he says, was figuring out who he was.  The freedom that he seems to have felt from pressure to look or act a certain way, the ability to decide for himself who he wanted to be, is remarkable.  The following interview shows him to be level-headed and surprisingly unaffected by his sudden success as a model.

In the context of fashion, androgyny seems more acceptable, relatively speaking.  What do you think makes this the case?  Is this a positive move, or does it just reflect a fetishization of “unusual” bodies?

Hollywood’s Thin, New Jennifer Hudson

After reading this article in Huffington Post and seeing many, many commercials with a svelte, toned Jennifer Hudson, I wondered how she managed to lose so much weight. Weight Watchers and exercise helped Hudson loose a huge eighty pounds in a healthy manner. The  formerly “larger than life” singer and actress is now a glowing size zero. Hollywood could not be happier.

Plus sized women in Hollywood are not easy to come by, especially when these women are black. Hollywood’s black female superstars are sexy like Halle Berry or extremely curvaceous like Beyonce. Where does a plus sized black woman like Jennifer Hudson fit in? Does out singing Beyonce in Dreamgirls mean nothing?

In my opinion, Jennifer Hudson had not been portrayed as other black women before she dropped eighty pounds. Yes, she was talented and award winning, but not beautiful. Her beauty has only come from her weight loss. Now, we can marvel over her thin waist and curvy hips along with her amazing singing voice.

But, which is better? Should a black female celebrity have to choose between being famous for her talent or her body? Of course, some celebrities like Beyonce have both covered while others like Nicki Minaj are lacking. What does this mean for little black girls? Can they feel comfortable in their bodies and accept not being beautiful but talented instead? Or do their bodies have to be the cause of their beauty? Should they  have to choose? I do not know the answers to these questions, although I have some ideas. The good news is that Jennifer Hudson’s voice is still big and beautiful!

Dove Real Women Beauty Commercial

Someone sent me this video on an interesting transformation between the way someone really looks and how they turn a “regular person” into a model. It shows a woman sitting in a chair and you see her go from an average person to them doing her hair and make-up, and finally taking a picture, photoshopping it, and putting it on a billboard. These are the images that we show to our society, yet nobody sees a problem with it.

Have no fear though, Dove is out to set the record straight. They want you to know that Dove is there for you, for real women! They want you to trust them to show real images of real women and make you feel better about yourself. No matter what the media shows, Dove is there for you and they believe in the beauty of every woman.

One thing that’s interesting to me though is that it’s a Dove commercial about promoting real women and real beauty, yet when you watch their other commercials, their models are thin and beautiful and promote the stereotypes of beauty that our society has put before us. I have an issue with the company pretending that they care about “real people” and “real beauty” when the way they act defies that. This makes me think that Dove is simply using a tactic to try and prove a point, or to get people who don’t like commercials or the media to start turning to them for an “unbiased” or “unconventional” model of what beauty is.

I think they are playing our society and using unconventional forms of beauty to attract new customers and promote their products. Now, instead of using conventional beauty to attract women by saying “if you use our products you will be this beautiful,” they are using the scheme “if you’re a real woman, you’re beautiful the way you are, and we support women being beautiful just like you, so knowing that we support REAL BEAUTY, you should buy and use our products.”

I think this is a real problem that needs to be addressed by society, but I don’t think doing it to promote your product is a fair way of doing that. Our concept of beauty clearly needs to change, but this is not the way to do it. Someone with nothing to gain has to put out a video or a commercial like this.