You are so fat what happened to you?
This is a question that I am asked all the time. I hear it from some of my friends who have known me for many years. They have witnessed the weight gain over the past couple of years. Why is that people cannot except you for who you are and not what you look like. Once I had my last child I developed type II diabetes and the weight began to pile on. I have been on many diets but still the weight remains. I have brought many diet books and different types of machines that promise to “get rid of those stubborn pounds” . Over the years I would lose the weight and gained it right back. I have brought contraptions that claimed to make you look 3 sizes smaller. The only thing that did was help me to not be able to breathe.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I wonder what happen to that small body with all the right curves and the tiny waistline. I would see friends who have lost weight and my question to them would be how did you lose the weight and so quickly. I went through asking all the right questions, but nothing seem to work for me and my question to me was why not me? Well I asked those questions for so many days, months and years and guess what? The answer I wanted to hear never came and so I remained fat. One day I realized that this was making me sad and it really wasn’t all that important. It didn’t cause me to love myself or others any less, nor did it cause my friends and family to love me any less. So what was the big deal about having a few extra pounds to spare? I started to remind myself that there are people who wish that was all they had to worry about, like someone who can no longer walk because they had a stroke or someone who did not wake up in the morning because they died in their sleep.
I have so much to be grateful for, because I did wake up so far every day which gives me another chance to help some one and to love myself even more. Each day I can get up and put one foot down and then the other or open my eyes to see the beauty that’s in the world. I can pick up a telephone and talk to my love ones in another state and tell them how much I love them. So what I am a little heavy, I don’t care as much as I once did and why should anybody else care. If they want I would gladly give them the gift of my extra fat. So at the beginning of the day and at the end of the day I am still me. The extra weight does not define me and surely it doesn’t make me. I have decided to love me more than anyone else so I wouldn’t have to wonder what happened to me.