Okay, I know this isn’t the case…but seriously. I’ve had shitty luck when it comes to dating women.
I feel like most of the time I’m the only lesbian twenty-something that strives for a monogamous relationship. Let me just give you a quick rundown of my dating experiences:
- Straight Women and experimentation: If one more girl comes up to me and says, “My boyfriend says it’s okay if I experiment with women” I’m going to crawl under my lesbian rock and never see the light of day again. This was fun the first two times but now it’s just sad. Hey, I think it’s awesome that women want to experiment, get it girl…I’m just not the girl for you. I just want love, man.
- The Bi-sexual Parisian: I was fresh out of high school when I met C (Let’s just call her C…because I would rather just leave it at that). We met on a lesbian dating site and talked for about a month. I was completely enamored with her because she was a fellow photographer and was an art student. C was living in Charleston, South Carolina at the time, only a 3 hour drive from where I was living in Clemson, SC. I made the journey from Clemson to Charleston to take a 23 year old out on a date…I was 18 at the time. We went to a french café and walked on the beach. *awh, how cute* Well, I didn’t hear from her for a year after that. She messaged me about a year later and confessed that she thought of me frequently but she had moved from Charleston to Paris to live with her grandparents. We wrote each other love letters and spent countless hours on FaceTime calls. We made plans to meet again in Berlin that December since I would be traveling to Germany for a school trip anyways. Long story short, on my one free day in Berlin, I purchased a last minute plane ticket and flew to Paris to see this girl. That night we went to the top of the Eiffel Tower and spent the night together in a cheap motel. To this day, it’s the most romantic gesture I’ve ever made. I didn’t hear from her for months after the fact. When she finally spoke she told me that, “she just wasn’t gay enough.”
- Polyamory: I met E (again, keeping their names private) at the 2015 Baltimore Pride. She was tall and mysterious and wore all black head to toe. We hit it off immediately and thus began a 3 month back and forth battle. It wasn’t until our 3rd or 4th date that she told me she was polyamorous. I was so smitten by her that I convinced myself that I could handle it but I knew that I was lying to myself. I finally had to cut ties because in the end, it was heartbreaking to think of my significant other sharing the same amount of love with someone else. I’m in no way saying that I have an issue with polyamory…I’m just a one gal kind of gal.
I’ve never really understood this part of myself, the overwhelming desire to share my life with someone. I’m perfectly content being alone…but at the end of the day I just want someone to come home to. I just have to be patient.