I am so tired of people saying this to me. Yes, I am a lesbian, but can’t I just wear what I want without you pointing it out to me?
I came out to my parents a few days before my high school graduation. We were sitting at the dinner table when I blurted out, “I just want you both to know that i’m gay.” They looked at each other with a grin and said, “Yeah, we’ve known that since you were 3. So?” It’s funny to think about their response, but it’s true!
My mom has too many stories of my Grandmother insisting on dressing me in stupid frilly dresses when I was a baby and into my Kindergarten years. Even then, I looked ridiculous. I have always felt more comfortable in boys clothes and it wasn’t until I turned six that my grandmother finally bought a t-shirt for me from the boys section of Macy’s.
When I discovered skateboarding, my tom-boyish side really flourished. I only wanted to wear what the skater boys were wearing and thank god I had a supportive mother who knew me well and would bring home shirts and pants from the boys section.
It wasn’t until my junior year in high school that I began to feel comfortable with not only my sexuality but my appearance. I realized that I can still look feminine in my tomboy attire. But now as a 22 year old, I can’t quite escape the statement, “you look really gay today” or “you definitely look like a lesbian.” What does that even mean? It sounds more like a negative statement than anything when I hear people make comments like that. Some days I enjoy dressing up and others I feel more comfortable in a flannel and my skate shoes. I don’t want to look a certain way, I just want to be me. We should all live our lives like that.
Today, my Grandfather taught me how to tie a tie. Although he doesn’t know i’m a lesbian, nor will I ever tell him, it just goes to show that women can wear whatever the hell they want. If I want to wear a suit, so be it.