I’ve been struggling to think of a topic for my final blog post, but I think the topic totally relates to bodies.
So, I’ve had this discussion before with my best friend. He’s been my best friend since high school, is gay, and we’ve talked about having kids together. I’ve personally been a fan of adoption because there are so many kids in the world that need families, who need a home and need to be taken care of. (I’ve also thought about fostering children.) I really love kids, which has been a new development since the birth of my first nephew six years ago. I really hated kids before he came along. But, going back to the story, my friend wants to have kids of his own genetic make-up. Which, honestly, I can admit is a personal preference, but it’s what has me thinking about bodies and how people perceive other bodies.
I’ve only just started thinking about having kids (as in, actually getting pregnant and carrying them to term, if I can) but it’s really daunting to think about all the changes my body will go through as a result of that decision. And the idea of a miscarriage or a stillbirth is also scary. Childbirth in general scares me. I guess the mid-ground here would be surrogacy, but surrogacy is so expensive. So are any of the options, really. Having a child is really damn expensive. I’m years away from having to make decisions like that, thankfully, but I guess it’s something that’s on my mind.
How does this decision get made? How does a person decide, “I want my own kids, I want them to have my genes, I don’t want to adopt”? Or is it just something that’s ingrained in you from an early age? Is it a biological urge? Can you explain that feeling? I have no answer to the questions I’m asking because I don’t know. I always thought I’d adopt when I was ready and financially stable but with that conversation a couple years ago, it got me thinking about whether I would want to have kids of my own. Would you adopt, or would you not? Can you explain why/why not?