Hands Up, Don’t Shoot

Yesterday I participated in the Mike Brown protest at UMBC in front of the UC. Not just because I’m black and i felt i HAD to but walking past the people who have been there since 8am and thinking of what they were fighting for, I felt at that moment that was the best way I could show my support. I’ve been following the since August, when we first learned of the shooting. For those who don’t know what happened, Mike Brown, a young, black, unarmed, teen was shot and killed by a Missouri Officer, Darren Wilson. The important keywords are young, unarmed, and black. The initial reaction to the news was immediate rage and violence in the Missouri community. Burning building, turning over police cars, and violence riots all followed the breaking of the story. I can only imagine the frustration of learning that someone who was supposed to serve and protect was still killing children. I know many people say the violence was not the way to answer this problem but the frustration had to have been building up. Nobody wants to be the next Oscar Grant, Tamir Rice, Sean Bell, or Amadou Diallo. Do you really know what its like to be Black in America?

I know as Black people we have come a very long way since we came to this country and I don’t want to make the issue of Mike Brown a race issue because it’s not. It’s a matter of police brutality. The anger that came out of Ferguson, Missouri is a race issue. Although I am not there, I believe the thoughts running through most of the people who are rioting is “That could have been me, my brother or my father. At what point are we allowed to say, this is not okay? Talking about it isn’t enough. Maybe if we torch this 7/11 maybe someone will start listening to what we have to say. This is not okay”

I can’t help but feel sorry for the parents of Mike Brown. I have no idea what it is like to lose a child and I hope thats not something I have to experience at all. I imagine they were excited that he finally finished high school and was ready to go to college a week later. I imagine they dreamt that he would complete college, get a job and start a family. I imagine they are at home thinking of what they were about to buy him for christmas or what time they were going to make his favorite food for thanksgiving and I also imagine them picturing their son lying dead on the ground for 4.5 hrs. All I can do is imagine but they have to actually live it.

I also feel sorry for Darren Wilson. I can’t imagine what it feels like to know that you took someone’s life. Justified or not. I can’t imagine what its like to be isolated from your community and have a large population of the United States believe you are a ruthless child killer. I can’t imagine knowing that I am (or contributed) to the reason why so many protests are going on, why people are burning cities and cop cars, and am the cause of a family’s suffering. I also feel bad that it is his word against Mike Brown’s and Mike Brown isn’t here to give his side of the story. When theres so much anger built up from the people around you it can very hard to listen to another side of the story. People want to believe what they want to believe.

Even to this moment, I’m still conflicted on this issue. I was not there in Ferguson, Missouri so I can’t say whether officer Darren Wilson was actually shooting in defense of his life or not. I don’t know whether the reason he approached Mike Brown was because he got a radio call that Mike Brown was a suspect for stealing cigars or not but since when does theft equal death. Where in the officer hand book say well if they’re guilty of stealing less than $20 of  merchandise than you’re obligated to shoot to kill. 6 times. 2 in the head if you want. Maybe it wasn’t because of the cigars and officer Wilson genuinely felt threatened by the presence and actions of Mike Brown. There are other reports that Brown reached into the officers squad car and the gun went off during that altercation. If that were true I can see one, maybe two shots going off but 6? How is that possible? I think if Mike Brown acted in malice than he should have been reprimanded, back up should have been controlled and if needed shooting to subdue. But I cannot see the justification in 6 shots fired and 2 to the head. Even in the reports that officer Wilson gave at the indictment, he said after he fired Mike Brown still was approaching him being described as a modern day Hulk. I still can’t understand how a person shot multiple times without a weapon in or near hand could possible pose a major threat to a trained police officer. Were the additional shots really necessary? Was the sign of his hands up in visible sight not enough? What will be enough? That’s the issue. In times like these it can feel like its never enough.