The first time I moved up to NYC I felt like I was in constant competition with all of the other girls there. Which is ridiculous considering there are millions of other girls and most of them look like, and probably are, actual supermodels. I would buy new clothes that I thought would make me fit in, tried out different styles that were not me, and would never leave without doing my hair and makeup. Needless to say I was miserable, for many other reasons, but this was also a factor. I came home early and swore off NYC and my career.
That didn’t last long because I moved up there again this summer. This time I just sat back and watched everyone else while I took the time to focus on my career. I would go out in my work clothes with no makeup and my hair pulled back and my friends and I would go out and joke that we were okay with being one of maybe five people in New York who actually ate carbs. I realized that I am not in competition with anyone there and even if I was, what was the competition for? To make friends, meet famous people, get dream like opportunities? Well, I got all of that this summer and I wasn’t trying to outdo anyone.
I would not trade this summer for anything. I got to work at an amazing place, hung out with incredible people, and booked a dream job to go back up and live after graduating in May. But most importantly I learned a lot about myself. It is okay to not look like a model; it’s more important who you are on the inside than what you look like on the outside. Don’t get me wrong, I still like to dress up and go out, I just do it without the unnecessary pressures from others. And on the reverse side, I don’t judge other girls or compare them to myself. It’s more fun to not worry, do what makes you happy, and enjoy the time you have with awesome people.
Unruly Bodies 
I understand how you felt completely! The “nightlife” may be the best and worst part of New York City – trying to fit it, look cool, or blend in with all the other New York natives. Trying to fit in is always difficult because you want people to like you, but you also can’t try too hard. For them, it’s so easy to spot a person who isn’t originally from there. We’re so afraid of being judged and afraid of what others may think of us but I’ve also learned that New York breeds some of the least judgemental people. You can literally wear a trashbag as your outfit and you won’t be judged so harshly because… That’s you. If that’s what you’re into, they’re accepting of it. As long as you’re comfortable with what you’re doing or wearing. I’m so glad you came to realize that much sooner than a lot of other people do!
I completely agree with you. The pressure of looking good and well dressed is very common in New York City, and I believe it is human nature to mix with the society norms to look a part of it. But I really like you story when you stopped wearing makeup and be yourself, because I think it’s really hard to satisfy society and the image of beautiful and modern girl. As long you feel like yourself and happy that all that matters at the end of the day.