Rocky Horror Picture Show
I was inspired while reading Navigating Boundaries to discuss my own love for physical contact!
Although I am mostly an introvert, I crave physical contact on an consistent basis. Maybe it is because I spend little time with large amounts of people that I like it when someone touches me. I want hugs, hand-holding, cuddling and leaning against someone. It feels very personal to me, though, and I am often afraid to initiate contact, for fear of crossing a line with someone, maybe our relationship isn’t strong enough.
It’s also occurred to me that physical contact helps me feel noticed and important. When someone in my life spares enough thought to touch my shoulder as they pass by, or kiss me on the head before they rush out the door (my roommate has done this and it makes me smile), I feel like I mean something in their life, and I’m not just a body taking up space.
Being here at school and away from my close-knit neighborhood and my family is really difficult for me, and I feel more alone here at school surrounded by like-minded peers than I did in community college where I felt a bit standoffish as it was.
The best song in the whole rock opera!
Anyway, enjoy the Rocky Horror Music!
Unruly Bodies 
This brings up some conflicting feelings I experience with touching and being touched. Sometimes touching makes me very uncomfortable and sometimes it can feel very rewarding. Growing up my family was never extremely touchy so we never hugged that much. This made me feel really awkward and uncomfortable for quite some time when people would hug or snuggle up to me. It wasn’t until I got to college and met friends who were extremely physical in the sense that they would hug me and play with my hair that i became more comfortable with the touching. I still hesitate when acquaintances will reach out for a hug though. At the same time I think this lack of physical contact has made me appreciate it more in certain contexts. When getting to know someone on a deeper level, I love the intimacy that comes with just laying next to someone and enjoying the warmth of their body and being wrapped in their arms. I don’t know much about body chemistry and how it works but i’m quite certain that my brain releases some endorphin or whatever you call those happy hormones your brain makes
I think this post is really interesting. I often feel myself wanting the same thing from my friends, that is hugs and stuff like that. Sometimes we do give each other hugs when we meet, but since I don’t get to see them as often as we want, I get kind of uncomfterble and my body freezes in place because I get nervous. This is due to a car accident I was in when I was 3 that left me with a brain injury and because of that the muscles in my right arm and leg get really tense sometimes and I don’t know what to do and I try to hide it from them as if everything is normal. Yet I still find myself wanting a closer friendship with them like my family and I have. I give my mom and dad hugs all the time and I never get nervous or anything around them.
I feel this post. I’m also pretty introverted but physical contact from a friend or loved one, sometimes even someone I’m just meeting, can make me feel very happy and special. I too experienced a kind of physical contact withdrawal upon coming to college. While I had made good friends, it wasn’t the touchy-feely sort of deal I was used to. I sometimes found myself asking friends for hugs. For me, intentional and affectionate physical contact is a very positive and embodying experience. I generally feel somewhat detached and disconnected from my body, but when someone tries to reach me through a bodily medium, it makes me feel very present and very aware of myself in my own body.
I completely understand this, I’m not a people person but at the same time I enjoy physical contact. Like you said, mainly because it reminds me that I am a part of that persons day and that they notice that I’m there. They can look at me and see me but the physical contact adds something extra to feeling like you exist.
I understand where you’re coming from for sure. For me, it’s a little complicated, because while I crave physical contact, I often feel awkward seeking it out and accepting it. I think the conflict lies in my own experience of embodiment; I tend to dissociate a lot from my physical body, forgetting its there and its mine, or that it is literally me, until it becomes relevant and I am forced to acknowledge it. At that point, when I’m accepting a hug or whatever else, I wind up feeling unbearably awkward as I am placed in a situation where I must maneuver my body and attach significance to gestures it makes and other bodies make with it. But then, if I don’t get any physical contact, I feel unimportant and neglected, like I don’t matter, like my body doesn’t matter. I sure wish I could make up my mind on this one!!