It will be ok….

Let’s call this a fallow up post! In my previous post I talked about my experience as a female leader and how different and sometimes difficult  that is. That how I experience ignorance in my position from the people that I am in charge of because of my gender. This mostly ( and I can even say only) happens when I am working with my cultural group as the president, and mostly the guys of the group .  I truly believe what they have been thought and seen in their families influences the way they look at a female being a leader, and in other words “being in charge of them” .

But I have noticed something else recently! If you were used to be good friend with someone that you are now in charge of, it might be harder to work with that person in professional level. First I thought knowing my board members in personal level and in depth will be a benefit but I guess I was wrong, in this case.One of the members in the group is one of my close friends. In the recent weeks as the level of our work has increased and he is in charge of more tasks I have noticed that he gets a little angry with me when I remind him his tasks or tell him that something went wrong on his side. I understand that stress can make anyone act like this , but I thought the reason of it might be something else.  I did my best to just study this issue and keep an close eye on it, while fixing it. I noticed taking orders from me and hearing that he did something wrong is a little hard for him to take, and I believe is because of the way he has been grown up and experienced things. Also it can be because of the way I approach him and how I have to be nice and friendly and strike all at once, because we work together and we are friends as well. Changing role as leader to friend , and backwards can be the reason as well. I might be over reading the situation, but I found it interesting and wanted to look at it deeper.

I would like to hear your words about it? Do you have a hard time acting as a leader or a female leader ? any suggestion ?!

In one word people are being disrespectful and not nice to me , and I am fighting back as hard as I can! I hope one day there will be no fighting back and we can see leaders and judge them based on their performance not their gender.

Note : as I was searching online for some data regarding this issue I found a link that has some interesting point, and it might be helpful for the female leaders out there.

One thought on “It will be ok….

  1. I can relate to this I got elected to be the head event coordinator for the Caribbean students association at my previous college because the person who held this position was going on a study abroad program. On my board were four boys and two girls. Our previous leader was a male and all his orders were completed without any problem. He was so kind that he gave me his action plan so it would be easier on me because we were all familiar with the way he organized things. The same action plan he used for half of the semester became a problem for the guys on the board, they got aggravated and I could not understand why because they were find with it when the he was there. As the semester proceeded we had various disagreements that were unnecessary, the simplest thing I would say to them would be offensive. These people were all my friends but they started to hate me for reasons I am yet to understand. After moving to UMBC I had a conversation with one of the guys and I asked him why it was so hard for them to get along with me and he said because they never taught it was fear that I got the position because over the years there has always been a male head. I instantly taught it was because of the way he was grown.

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