In 4 days I will not have had a cigarette for 11 months.
It’s funny because my quit date ended up being January 1, 2013, but it wasn’t my New Year’s resolution. I actually woke up on the morning of 2013, smoked a cigarette or two, and started to feel achey and fevery and generally very grumpy. I thought it was just because of the festivities from the night before. As the day progressed, it became apparent that what I thought was a hangover was in fact the flu.
Oh man did I have the flu. I was in bed for 4 days. I went through 2 bottles of Nyquil. There were times that I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it. When I started to be able to sit up, and eat, and talk, I had the thought that I could use a cigarette.
I had been smoking at least a pack a day for about 2 years. I had tried to quit multiple times, but never made it more than a whole day. But after my 4 days of hell, I had already made it through the peak of the nicotine cravings. So physically I had pretty much beat the addiction, but mentally/habitually I had a lot of work to do. A few of my roomates stll smoked, and so did my boyfriend. So I had to smell it, and oftentimes be surrounded by other people smoking. This timetable of quitting benefits was my go-to reminder of why I was quitting.
For a long time I didn’t go to parties, didn’t drink, didn’t do a lot of things because I was scared I wouldn’t be able to not smoke.I realized that I smoked to feel less anxious, smoked as a substitute for eating meals, smoked as a way to deal with social anxiety. I smoked for so many reasons. And it’s still hard when my boyfriend lights up a cigarette next to me. It’s still hard to be in a room full of smokers and feel like I wanna puke cuz I’m so socially anxious. Quitting continues to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
But so far, I’ve made it. I haven’t had a cigarette in 11 months, and that makes me feel like a total badass. To this day, quitting smoking is by far the coolest, best, proudest accomplishment of my life. I don’t normally tell people how to live their lives, but if you smoke, I would encourage you to quit as well.