It seems to me that no one ever thinks about this, or they never want to talk about it. I want to talk about it. I think it needs to be written down, passed around, and heard over and over again until we replace our present beliefs with the truth.
We need to talk about fat bodies and rape.
Rape is not easy to write about or discuss. It is difficult for me to write this post because the topic is so heavy and delicate. One line crossed and my argument crumbles, my intentions rightfully crushed because I inexcusably triggered readers. Even so, this is something we need to talk about, because I don’t think this ever crosses our minds.
And why would it? Media representations of rape victims hardly ever present us with fat people. The victim is usually white, but is mostly skinny and female. Fat people, fat women, are not victims of rape in the media we consume. Would anyone think that fat bodies, particularly fat women’s bodies and bodies of people assumed female, face violence with this representation so prevalent? To be clear, I am not advocating for media to portray fat bodies as victims of violence. I am pointing out that fat bodies are ignored for the more socially acceptable body, the thin body, in discussions of rape.
We have another contender in this ignorance: the desexualization of the fat body. Sure, you have your portrayals of hypersexual fat women, but those characters are for laughs. Those are joke characters. That desire for sex that they have, whether hyper or just normal? We’re told real fat people don’t have sex. Well, except when they’re fat men, because men want sex all the time. The rest of the fat people, nah, they don’t have sex. They aren’t sexy. They probably don’t even know what sex is. But you know what they DO know? How to be maids. Nannies. How to clean houses and watch kids and cook meals. That’s the kind of representation we get of fat people: joke characters, the maids, the nannies, the Mammy trope for fat black female-assumed bodies, the lonely fat loser friend at the bar, and any other flat fat archetype you can think of.
So this is what we have so far: fat bodies so far have had no place in discussions of rape, and fat bodies have their sexualities unwillingly removed. One and one is this:
The belief that fat bodies are not victims of rape.
Totally preposterous. I will challenge the world to a Pokemon battle over this (but you’ll have to wait a few months, school’s keeping me from completely dominating the Kalos region). Fat bodies are victims of rape. I don’t think I have to tell everyone what rape does to a person. How rape changes every little bit and piece of your life and it takes a therapist or some sort of support system to help you see just how much your life has been affected by your rapist(s). Everyone knows the rape apologism that follows, the victim-blaming, the sympathy and empathy that goes to the rapist(s) rather than the victim(s). It is cruel and unforgivable. Add onto all of that, people saying, “Well, they were fat, they wouldn’t have gotten laid any other way,” or, “They should be glad someone found them attractive enough to want to have sex with them.”
This isn’t me making something up. This is real. It really happened. And it is still happening, and no one is talking about it. It’s time we start talking about our fat rape victims too. All rape victims deserve kindness and support, but there is a very real exclusion of fat bodies in discussions about rape. Let’s end this exclusion. Let’s talk about it. We can’t be fat-positive if we don’t take care of fat rape victims.
If any part of this post needs to be changed because I crossed a line or was insensitive or I was an insufferable asshole, please let me know and I’ll edit it without argument.