So, once again i’m here to talk about my fibromyalgia
*cue the violins*
haha but really this past week was very interesting.
Let me explain why.
So Friday before last I woke up and i just couldn’t bend my wrist. At first I thought I just slept on it at a weird angle and figured I could stretch it out and continue about my day. As the day progressed it only got worse. It became difficult to lift anything and driving to work was pretty painful. When I got to work one of my managers helped me out and wrapped it with gauze and tape then used a coffee sleeve as a splint (innovation at its best!) to keep it from moving. Now while this did limit my movements it did not stop the pain that was radiating from my wrist.
Lifting plates and holding cups, swiping credit cards and reaching for change in my pocket was all so painful now. Unfortunately for me I had to stay and work the rest of my shift. Before I left I took 2 tylenols to help. But it only slightly numbed it to a tolerable level of pain. This problem persisted through the entire weekend. Let’s just say it was one of my harder weekends at work. But I made it through and made a doctor’s appointment for Tuesday bright and early.
Now I was originally diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2010 by a doctor who worked as an arthritis and pain specialist. As i mentioned in my last blog post, he prescribed me two medications. One prescription was illegible but the one I could read turned out to also be used as an antidepressant and i didn’t feel like risking the side effects. To this day I have not been using a doctor recommended form of treatment. Just yoga, acetaminophen and willow bark for the pain. Lately i’ve realized that maybe that’s just not enough. I need to be able to use my wrist and considering i’m going on week 2 of pain, I need a solution fast.
So I met with a doctor at University Health Services and explained to her that I needed blood work done to be absolutely 100% positive this was indeed fibromyalgia so that I could in turn take the appropriate course of treatment to manage it and keep it in check. She understood my desire for a medical plan that did not involve former antidepressants as treatment. So she drew a bunch of blood and prescribed me anti-inflammatories. Her theory is that my body is producing too many inflammatory cells and sending them to my joints. I’m supposed to take them for 2 weeks and see if they help. In the event that they do, she wants me to stop taking them and if the problem persists, I will be sent to a specialist to determine why my body is sending so many inflammatory cells throughout my body.
Now because my wrist isn’t what it should be, I went and bought myself an Ace bandage to help minimize movement and reduce pain by stabilizing my wrist.
It’s interesting to see how people react to me now. Most people just stared at my brace and made comments like “you’re a woman of many talents” when i still managed to balance 3 plates. Only a few brave souls have been bold enough to ask me what happened, many exclaiming upon my explanation “aren’t you a little young for that?” To which i reply “yeah but i’m like a 75 year old woman trapped in a 22 year old body” and everyone laughs…. but i’m not even kidding. I literally feel like this old creaky body struggling to get up the stairs or even out of bed in the morning. One of my coworkers told me Sunday it breaks his heart to see me like that because usually we just joke around about my fibromyalgia when i’m really feeling it after a long day but seeing the brace on my wrist “made it all so real.”
Who knew that this simple black bandage could affect the way people perceive my ailment. I’m wearing a knee brace most days but since people can’t see it, it doesn’t exist to them. Something can’t be real if it doesn’t exist, right?
Unruly Bodies 
That’s so typical of an invisible illness, people know about it but forget about it unless there’s some evidence staring them in the face to remind them. I’m currently in hospital with skin/fibro related issues and I was reprimanded by the elderly lady in the next bed for not getting up to help her with something. At the time I was going through a very painful skin episode and I snapped back at the woman that I too was in hospital so maybe I wasn’t well enough to help her. She said that I couldn’t compare a young sick girl like me to an older sick person like her, even though she was up and moving about at the time. People really need to just forget about age when it comes to illness. Just because we look young and healthy really doesn’t mean much.
It’s amazing the way people are eager to assume someone with an invisible illness is totally fine, regardless of what symptoms they may have, until something materializes to make that illness visible. I know a gal who has Crohn’s disease, and she may experience intense and horrifying pain whenever she eats or moves, assuming that she isn’t barfing out her guts, but very few people around her are willing to accept that she ISN’T just being lazy when she has to rest at home instead of going to work. This applies until the illness starts to take a very visible toll, and suddenly the problem is that she shouldn’t be showing her sickness to everyone else because it’s upsetting, and why didn’t she just stay home? I’m sure your coworker meant well when saying the sight of your wrist brace upset him, but really, wouldn’t it be more upsetting to you that you have to wear it in the first place? And if you can joke about it still, why can’t he once it’s visible and tangible for him as well as you?